


Seeing from a distance

by SerenVic



Series: Wood for the Trees. [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenVic/pseuds/SerenVic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny talk briefly and then Steve at Danny's insistence makes up with Grace.  The Ohana decide to start working on Danny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing from a distance

**Author's Note:**

> General Dsclaimer

There was a stunned silence, Danny wanted to run, be sick, hug the man, cry or shoot him. He had no idea what to do his feet were stuck to the floor and the sun was still so bright Steve seemed surrounded by a halo and that was just too ironic for words.

 

Steve looked and looked and tried to think what to say. He wanted to wrap himself around him, to somehow make one hug fix it all but he could see Danny had no idea whether to run, be sick or even shoot him. It was that realization that he still could read Danny enough that slowed his heart rate a little and he relaxed a little and waited.

The silence stretched and stretched and eventually Danny huffed, hung his head and went to move to the car. Sounding more confident than he felt Steve called out

‘Can we just sit on the wall a while, I’d like to know how you are.’

Danny’s head turned slowly, his eyebrow cocked as if seriously surprised

‘You’d like to know how I am?’

The lack of arm movements and the stillness of Danny was disconcerting to say the least and Steve felt like he was almost approaching an unexploded bomb, though that was probably what Danny was feeling most like at the moment. 

‘yep, we share a liver we ought to check in and see how they are getting on without the other half’ Steve desperately wanted to be near Danny and protect him from all the pain that was tangibly written on his face and there was a dark humor in the 2 halves being apart as he felt Danny and he were currently like half a person without each other.

Danny was confused Steve seemed to really want to spend time with him and that ridiculous idea of the 2 halves checking in with each other, didn’t he realize he felt incomplete and this would just be so hard. He slowly walked and sat on the wall and Steve quietly joined him there was space between them as both of them leaned forward Danny’s hands clasped on his lap and Steve put his hands on the wall either side of him, it crossed his mind if he just moved his hand a bit then splayed his fingers a bit his little finger could touch Danny and he stopped his train of thought that wasn’t what this was about. It was obvious Steve was going to have to speak   
first because there was nothing forthcoming from the short blond.

‘I’m sorry.’

Danny turned his head and said nothing watching his face carefully.

‘I said some mean things in the hospital and I was wrong’

Danny huffed and stared at the floor again

‘I have so much to say thank you for and I want to do that.’

Danny unclasped his hands and there was slight movement as he tried to think of a reply. He put them either side of him, and quietly said

‘you were an asshole’

‘I know’

‘and I let you be an asshole and I just took it.’

Steve looked at their hands so close on the wall their little fingers must have been less than an inch apart and yet so far away from each other at the same time. 

‘Danny, I’m sorry and I want us to sort things out for the team.’ As soon as he said the words he could feel Danny’s body stiffen and he realized he had said the wrong thing, he had made it about everyone else not Danny.

‘Fine’ came the icy reply ‘Are we talking transferring me, firing me or what?’

‘No.no.no.’ Steve rubbed his hands over his head ‘I didn’t mean that like it sounded. Danny I screwed up not just in the hospital but things have been bad for a while and its everything, it’s me and you, it’s the team, it’s my leadership, its ...’ his voice tailed off.

Danny sat and waited, it was killing Steve how little a response he was getting.

‘I’m seeing a counselor whose helping me understand things better and Id like us to work on things so you and I are friends again, so you feel happy on the team and our livers can work together like a proper partnership again’

There was a small smirk on Danny’s face at the mention of their livers working together.

‘Maybe’ offered Danny ‘I’m just tired of being the outsider even in my own life. ‘I’ll think about it’

Danny went to move, Steve grabbed his arm ‘Wait’

There was a quick movement and Steve’s arm was floating in the air.

‘I said I’ll think about it’ and just like that Danny walked away not looking back. He then stopped and turned his head back around.

‘Steve, make it up with Grace, it’s not fair on her she misses you so much and feels so guilty she won’t tell me what she said but she feels that you won’t want to speak to her again. I realize she may have overheard a conversation she shouldn’t have and that confused and upset her. You’re her Uncle Steve and nothing changes that. Ring Rachel and arrange something – Rachel might insist on being there but sort something out. I’ll tell her I’ve told you that you can ring.’  
Steve stood there amazed, the most Danny had said and it was about making things right for Grace and him, how had he never noticed Danny rarely thought of himself before others, he could have destroyed his relationship with Grace and yet again he was helping him.

‘Are you sure? She was so angry and upset and she was right, why would she even want to see me?’ Steve was genuinely confused by this, he had really hurt her father so much by all accounts he had felt suicidal and yet here was Danny offering the most amazing gift of his daughter’s love and sunshine.

Danny turned fully around and with such a look of pain on his face said

‘When you love someone you want the best for them even if it destroys you.’ Danny wasn’t sure who he was talking about anymore and he wanted to run away and hide. ‘Sort it out Steve with her.’

He walked away to the car and drove off.

Steve slumped back down on the wall and felt a lump in his throat grow and the desire to cry was overwhelming. He breathed deeply to relax and went through the conversation in his head. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t a disaster Danny said he would think about sorting things out and amazingly told him to sort things with Grace. He spent time just considering things and then biting the bullet phoned Rachel’s house. As she answered the phone he panicked what would he say. After haltingly saying hello, her crisp tones came down the line

‘He phoned me and told me that you would call. You can come by the house tomorrow afternoon at 3. You will not take her anywhere and I will stay with you and if   
Commander you upset Grace despite her father’s wishes you will never see her again.’

Steve assured her he would be there on time and he wouldn’t upset her again he understood this was a great gift of hers and Danny’s to fix things. As he said goodbye and sat there and thought about the second chance he had been given he realized Danny must have phoned Rachel almost as soon as he had driven off. A tiny part of Steve thought that was a good thing, a tiny part that wanted to grow and plan things but he quickly brought himself to heel. This was the start of a difficult path.

***

Danny drove home phoning Rachel as soon as Steve was out of sight, the conversation was brief and Rachel was not overly pleased but she agreed. She asked how work was and he brushed off the question and the conversation finished. As soon as he got in, he stripped and got in the shower he leaned against his forehead on the wall letting the water wash over him he found himself sobbing as he thought about the week and meeting Steve. He was confused about Steve, he seemed to keen to sort things and he talked about seeing a counselor it was just all too much for Danny to cope with.

He crawled into bed, put the tv on low and closed his eyes. Since leaving hospital he seemed to need so much more sleep. The weekend continued in much the same vein for Danny, he ate small amounts, slept lots and watched tv as Sunday evening came around he realised he had done nothing all weekend and that next weekend when he had the children he had to get himself in gear. He had held off ringing Grace he was desperate to make sure Steve had sorted it with her but wanted to give her time to think about it and ring when she was ready. He felt awful that she had overheard conversations between Rachel and Jake but that unfortunately could not be fixed. 

***

The Saturday afternoon came around and Steve was standing on Rachel’s doorstep with 2 bunches of flowers and an inflatable toy. As the door opened with Rachel standing there he thrust one of the bunches at her and said

‘I’m sorry, these are for you – I hope you know I would never deliberately hurt Grace and I want to do all I can to fix it. I can’t believe Danny is ok with this.’

‘Neither can I’ came a very chilly response ‘but at the same time I can. He believes strongly in family and protecting the children and he knows whatever you have done to him you would always be there for them. I’m not nice and forgiving however and this is your last chance on so many levels.’

Steve followed her down the corridor and saw Grace sitting very still on the sofa looking at him with big eyes. He knelt in front of her and offered her the flowers 

‘these are for you to say sorry, Ive got a toy for the pool for Charlie would you give it to him for me?’

Grace’s face nodded up and down, Rachel took the flowers off her ‘Grace, I’ll put these in water and put them in your room’ Rachel quietly walked away and Grace fidgeted but said nothing. 

‘Can I sit next to you Grace?’ She nodded and Steve sat a little away from her.

‘Honey I’m so sorry I made you sad. Remember your dad calls me Neanderthal, that's because I don’t always know how to behave and I’m really bad at knowing how people feel. I didn’t know hw much I had hurt Danny’s feelings and how sad he was. Grace, you’ve been such a big help because you were really brave and told me how wrong I was, I went and got some help.’

Grace’s eyes got really big and she looked confused.

‘Grace, I am talking to someone who is helping me be a better person. When I was little I didn’t have a Danny to help me talk about things and my Dad was so sad about my mum not being there he sent me away and Ive always been on my own to sort things out.’

Grace moved closer and fiddled with his fingers and then held his hand. ‘I was really mean’ she whispered. 

Steve took a deep breath, ‘Grace how you said it maybe wasn’t nice, but what you were telling me was really important and it was really brave of you to tell me, no one else had told me I was a bad friend. You’re a very clever girl.’

Steve could see Rachel out of the corner of his eye and continued ‘I have let you and Danny down, I saw your Dad yesterday and I have asked him if we can sort things out but that’s for him to decide but he is quite happy for you and me to spend time together and I would like us to become friends again.’

Grace continued to squeeze his hand and moved closer and then all of sudden scrambled on to his lap and threw her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly. He could feel her body shake and the tears fall on his neck as he hugged her tightly back it was difficult not to cry too. She mumbled something into his neck and he moved so he could see her face

‘Sorry Grace I didn’t catch that’

‘I love you Uncle Steve’ Steve smile just grew and grew. He squeezed her back into his arms

‘I love you too honey.’ They just sat there for a while. Grace finally crawled off his lap and sat closely to him and fiddled with his fingers again

‘Do you think Danno and you will be friends again? He’s so sad Uncle Steve.’

Steve thought for a moment ‘Grace I want to be friends with your Dad so badly, it’s not easy though when you hurt someone so badly it takes time. But I’m going to do my best.’

After spending some more time with Grace, Steve went home and phoned Chin telling him all that had happened. After talking for a while he asked Chin

‘Do you think maybe Danny needs some help? He’s lost weight and there’s no real danniness..’

Chin laughed ‘Danninness is that even a word? He was signed back to come to work but maybe they didn’t really question him a lot about his mental health. Danny in work is efficient, sorting out things but he’s not talking to us, there have been no rants and he goes for his lunch break on his own.’

Steve thought quietly ‘it’s time for the Ohana to help him.’

Chin was nervous ‘Steve he’s not a broken toy that can just be fixed.’

‘No, but you know how it can be, someone finds out where he has lunch and just happens to join him. A masalada ends up on his desk, little things that friends do for each other, asking about Grace and Charlie. He’s put up a wall, there’s 3 of you slowly break it down’

Chin was suspicious ‘And you...’

‘I’ve asked him to meet with me, he said he would think about it, I have to respect that.’ Steve thought for a moment ‘Chin I did a dreadful thing I threw away his friendship and in doing that I messed up so much more. I told you being with Danny is like being surrounded by sunshine it’s my turn to step up to the plate and return the care he gave me and that starts with waiting’

Chin laughed quietly ‘Who are you, no barging in, jumping through windows and grenading him until he agrees?’

Steve took a deep breath ‘the counselor you found me has really helped I’ve been seeing them every other day, it’s scary but good.’

‘She is good isn’t she –she really helped me after Malia’

Steve was stunned ‘I had no idea’

‘No? Danny did –he found her for me, just passed me the card and offered me a lift. He never asked how things were going only gave me a hug after I told him it was really helpful. It’s not just you at fault none of us saw how he was breaking slowly – he was too busy looking after others that we assumed that he was fine.’

‘So Ohana?’

‘Ohana – but I’m going to have keep Kono on a leash she wants to love bomb him whatever that means and hug him to death’ Chin paused ‘Steve, are you hoping maybe that eventually you and he...’

Steve decided to be honest ‘I love him Chin but that’s not for now. It may never be a discussion between us but as he said to me yesterday When you love someone you want the best for them even if it destroys you.’

Steve and Chin finished up the conversation and agreed to meet with Kono and Adam the following day for lunch. As Chin put the phone down he wondered if Steve had realized that maybe Danny had been talking more than just about Grace.

***

Lunch on the Sunday was fun, Kono was planning all sorts of ways of showing Danny love and care and needed to be reminded that this was a battle of stealth. It was decided that the first thing would be to make sure there was always a coffee and masalada on his desk each morning. Then they needed to find out where he was going for lunch and start to invade that too. Lou would be up for up the plan so despite Kono’s desire to camo up and love ninja Danny the watch word was discrete, calm and show kindness. Chin wasn’t completely convinced but then again they didn’t want to carry on as they were.

***

The plan started on the Monday and then stealthily over the week they worked out from tracking his phone he was going to the same place for lunch, if they weren’t on a case. They each asked after the children at different times, Kono brought in a pretty pair of sandals she had seen for Grace, Lou sat in Danny’s office and talked about winter in Chicago for half an hour another day. Danny was pleasant and courteous and they could all see flashes of their friend shining through especially talking about the children.

This continued over the next few weeks, at the weekends when Danny had the children he took them out and did things with them and slowly on his weekends alone he started not sleeping all weekend and doing things around the house like he used to. He was aware that the team were making a big effort and he was feeling torn between wanting to hug them all and scream at them, but what he would scream he had no idea.

It had been 4 weeks since he had seen Steve and he realized he would be coming back to work soon. So he picked up the phone and texted him

-Can we meet at my spot tomorrow at 2. We need to be able to work together so we should talk.

Steve read the text, he wasn’t sure if this was a good thing that Danny wanted to see him or if this was just work Danny. He texted him back

-Great I’ll bring coffee and masaladas

Instantly the phoned dinged again

-no butter in mine!

Steve laughed out loud whilst Danny stared at his phone in horror where did that come from? He as trying to be professional but somehow old habits died hard. His phone pinged

-Ah Danny you never know you might like it if you tried it but I promise coffee as you like it no added ingredients.

-Tomorrow at 2 

Danny put his phone down, he supposed that if he and Steve could talk things out maybe there would a chance for him to stay on the team he wasn’t stupid he knew the team were trying to bring him back into the fold. He missed them all so much but loving Steve had made him vulnerable and he wasn’t sure his heart could take too much if Steve hadn’t really changed. He would see tomorrow at 2.

As both men went to bed thinking of the next day, they both realized this was kind of a high noon for them. Would it make or break them? Steve was feeling hopeful and Danny was very confused.


End file.
